i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize