I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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