this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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