I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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