Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I did not marry a roomba.
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