Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
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he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
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I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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