when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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