I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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