rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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