Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize