I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize