Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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