So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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