He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize