So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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