I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
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You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize