dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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