I wanna passion pit in your ass
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize