Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize