I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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