Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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