You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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