Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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