He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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