i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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