Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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