I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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