it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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