before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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