Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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