U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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