I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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