Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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