the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize