oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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