Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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