And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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