I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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