Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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