so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
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Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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