If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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