new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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