if only i could text you this smell
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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