I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize