i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize