My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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