How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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