So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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