Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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