btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize